Riley The Wonder Dog

One day Fred and Pete are out duck hunting with Fred's new dog "Riley". Fred tells his buddy that Riley is the most amazing dog he has ever seen when it comes to hunting ducks. "How so?" asks Pete. "Well, I look at Riley and I say "Riley, go get 'em" and he hauls off into the marsh, then comes back and tells me how many ducks are out there by the number of times that he barks at me." "Bullshit!" "Okay, watch!" Fred tells Riley to "go get 'em" and about 10 minutes latter, Riley comes back and barks 6 times. Just about that time 6 ducks fly out from the marsh. Fred tells Riley to "go get 'em" again and he comes back a while later and barks 4 times. 4 Ducks fly out from the marsh. Pete says – "Holy shit! This dog is unbelievable. Can I buy him from you, name your price!" "I don’t know Pete, I kinda like the dog, I don't think I can sell him." "How 'bout $5,000?" "SOLD!" A few weeks go by and Fred runs into Pete down at the local feed store. "How's my dog been treatin’ you?" says Fred. "Aw, I had to shoot that damn dog 2 days ago." "WHAT! Why did you shoot the dog?" "Well, I took him out last weekend to the marsh for duck hunting and sent him off to the marsh just like you would and he was gone for almost an hour. He came back a runnin' as fast as he could out of the marsh with a stick in his mouth, went up to my leg and started humpin' me like I was the prom queen or somethin' and shakin' that stick all about. I thought he had rabbies or somethin', so I shot him." "You dumb ass, he was tryin' to tell you that there were more fucking ducks than you can shake a stick at!"